The Discrepancy

A lot of the time in our lives, there is a discrepancy between the way things are and the way we wish they could be. In the Doing Mode state of mind (see yesterday's blog), we are usually concerned with trying to close the gap between these two polarities. By focusing on the discrepancy, however, we may be missing a bigger, and potentially more useful perspective.

When we are trying to change, manipulate, or get rid of something in order to close the gap, our focus is very narrow, and our happiness is dependent upon the achievement of a particular result. Sometimes we might be able to affect useful change, but a lot of the time, these things are out of our control. 

Rather than trying to close the gap right away, it might be better to just sit with the experience of things not being the way we want them to be in that moment. This is an example of bringing "Being Mode" to bear upon the situation. This approach can not only decrease our anxiety about the situation almost immediately, but it can also engage a wider and wiser way of seeing things. When we "decenter" from the obsession with fixing the gap, and when this kind of "wise mind" is deployed as a result of the decentering, solutions that we never considered before begin to present themselves. (For more information about wise mind, see 5/19/10 blog.)

Blessings,
Roger