Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Guru

An elderly Jewish lady in Brooklyn sees a story in the paper about a guru in India who is attracting followers by the thousands. She reads with interest that the wait is so long to have an audience with him, that the devotees are only allowed to speak three words before they are ushered out to make way for the next person.

Immediately she calls her travel agent. "I want to go to India," she tells him. The travel agent tries to dissuade the woman, telling her the country is dirty, the food is too spicy for her, and you can't drink the water. "Why torture yourself?" he asks her. "I don't care," says the woman. "I want to go to India."

And so she makes the arduous journey to the guru's ashram. She takes her place in the long line of people waiting to see him. After two days of standing on line, she finally reaches the door of his temple where she is firmly given instructions to say only three words to the guru.

At last she is ushered into the inner sanctum of the temple, and again she is reminded, "Remember! Only three words!"

Finally, she stands before the guru. Instead of bowing like everyone else does, she folds her arms across her chest. fixes her gaze upon him, and says, "Sheldon, come home!"


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